Heaty night and I don't need retards to make me feel like a retard.Oh yea,mind retardation is occurring too.Liling and me was laughing about it.Deep down I feel there's nothing funny actually.I was laughing till my tummy aches.I don't get it.Its not that funny but yeah I need something like this once in awhile.

"So afraid to love you..
More afraid to lose.."

Orange lights,sarah mclachlan and the thought of someone you love..
Enough to get me back to life.Hah.Right after my project submission,I didn't know where to go.Dissappointed,sad,tired,sick all in one.Pushed everything aside and slept till 7pm.That's how I am nowadays and not believing in myself would be the greatest mistake.

Hengli called me and scolded me for not picking up her calls.Haha.I have a crazy phone.I can't receive her calls.She sounded the same.Exactly like 3 years back but now happier than ever with peter in her life now.I feel happy for her and our promise to go Japan together is still in her mind.She never forget things.Like the fact that I can't eat non-halal food.So,she was telling me to pack more more instant food for future japan trip.Haha.Truly,moments like this make me go on and it always happen at the right time for the right reason.

My holidays will be spent with her too(:
Insyallah.

Suddenly,I miss my nenek.She'll probably cooking maggi mee and want me to join her too.She'll call my name and ask if I'm asleep.If I am,she'll finish up her noodles and come next to me.Then,she'll say how big I've grown.Ok come back and see how BIG i've grown into! Have you ever felt so paralysed when you miss somehow so so much?

ok.Back to work.

Sorry.For the next ten days,I'll behave like some lion from some zoo.
I will control and shut my mouth.Just don't come near me if I get too quiet.
I'm on my season 'peak' state which no one can understand.
Peace.

I shall be strong.I shall be strong.
I should be strong.

Just falling to the ground
Without a sound.

Cheer up.I should always look at the brighter side of life.